Stupid Things Said about Skipping Church by Wayne Jacobsen

Skipping Church

Skipping ChurchI’m growing convinced that much of Christianity has become a human religion loosely based on the teachings of Jesus, while missing the point of them all.

Every week now I get links to blogs and articles of various pastors giving the 5, 8, or 12 reasons everyone needs to attend a local church each week. To prove their point, however, they have to make some of the most ridiculous statements that have absolutely no grounding in the life or character of Jesus. These conclusions are not just misguided, but actually destructive to people who want to grow in his life and joy.

This is not a personal judgment against them. I’m sure many of them are fine people, only trying to do what they feel called to. I also appreciate that this is a scary time for them as so-called church attendance is on the decline. The idea that someone can actually grow in their relationship with God, experience the life of the church, and share his mission in the world without being part of their congregation has to be a scary reality. Many don’t even want to acknowledge it is even possible, so they double down on the language of obligation and accountability. In doing so, however, they twist the Gospel so that it is no longer recognizable and all that’s left is for people to obey what they are told by leadership whose success and livelihood depend on that obedience.

There are many good reasons to gather regularly with other believers and share the journey of faith. It’s just that all those gatherings are not going on in Sunday morning services shackled by the bureaucracy of a religious system that often does more stifle spiritual growth rather than stimulate it. Many have found more engaging ways to share the life of the church beyond the walls of traditional congregations and telling them they must attend a normal service, falls on deaf ears once they’ve discovered that it isn’t true.

So if they hope guilt and obligation will win these people back or scare the ones they have into remaining, they are not only fighting a losing battle but disfiguring God and distorting the Gospel to do it. The life of the church is not found in obligation but in the joy of affection and transformation. Trying to discount the salvation of those who leave in hopes of reigning back in the faithful will continue backfire.

In the latest article I read Nathan Rose, a Missouri pastor in the Southern Baptist denomination says that skipping “church” meetings is dangerous to your health.  He gives five reasons why in a recent article he wrote, Five Spiritual Dangers of Skipping Church:

Skipping Church

Stupid Things said in the Name of Jesus about Skipping Church

  1. “You will miss out on God’s primary design for your spiritual growth and well-being.” What in the ministry of Jesus leads him to the conclusion that God’s primary means to grow to spiritual maturity is to attend a church service weekly, when he never conducted one himself, never taught his disciples how to do so, and assigned the task for our growth to the Holy Spirit who would dwell in us and guide us to all truth? When the Samaritan woman asked Jesus where she should worship, he made it clear that location is not the issue.  What matters is that we do so in spirit and in truth. Living in the Father’s affection and responding to his Spirit within us is God’s primary design for our growth and well-being, not sitting in a pew on Sunday morning.
  2. “You disobey God.”  As many do, Rose pulls out Hebrews 10:24-25 saying that the counsel “not to neglect to meet together,” is a command that can only be fulfilled in a weekly church service.  It’s dishonest on the face of it. This is the only Scripture pastors have to seek to compel “church attendance” and it is misused at that. This passage wasn’t written to believers skipping out on church services, but to people under persecution who were wondering if avoiding association with each other would make it more difficult for the authorities to find them. The writer is telling them they have more to gain by the encouragement they have from each other than going it alone. Most Sunday services don’t even allow people to encourage each other, since the focus is on the platform. Hebrews 20 is not talking about attending a meeting; it is about staying connected to others and not trying to make it alone. Honestly many of our institutions today do more to inhibit that connection than encourage it.
  3. “You make a statement to the world that God is not worthy of worship…, which is the attitude and conduct of unbelievers, not God’s people.” So if you don’t come to “worship” you are no longer one of God’s people. The judgment here is frightful. Worship is not a song service or a sermon, but a live lived in God’s reality and his affection. How we see him and how we love and respect others either brings glory to him or disfigures him. Sitting in a pew on Sunday morning is not a statement of how important worship is to you unless that’s the only way you understand worship and then you are spiritually impoverished the rest of the week. Our lives worship him whether we’re on the job, enjoying his creation, or serving someone in need.
  4. “You can’t minister to anyone.” Really? All the ministry that God wants to do in the world can only happen under a steeple on Sunday morning? That would be laughable if it weren’t so tragic. Jesus never ministered in a “service,” but on the street where he encountered people. Real service is not sitting in a pew so others can hear you sing and you can show support for the pastor. Ministry is about loving and helping people you know or come across as you go through life. They can be in your neighborhood, at work, in school, or across the world.
  5. “You skip out on a foretaste of heaven.” If Sunday morning services were really a foretaste of heaven, no one would want to miss them and you wouldn’t have to obligate them to be there. In many cases it’s just a repeated formula often laced with guilt and condemnation, as was the entire piece written by Rose.

What bothers me most is not that they want people to come to “their church”, but that they see obligation as the reason. They make the same mistake the Galatians made.  By turning the promise of God into an obligation they distort the gospel, twisting the joy of an invitation into God’s life into demands and threats. It has the underlying psychology of “misery loves company.”  We are not here because we enjoy it and God works in us, but because God says we have to. Please!  The kingdom is the pearl of great price, not the castor oil of spiritual maturity.

Paul, the apostle, encourage us to live in freedom and let “no one” defraud us by telling us where we should go, what we should eat, or what we should wear. People who try to tell you what you should do, rather than equipping you to live fully and freely in Jesus, have lost connection with the Head.

I honestly feel sorry for those who can’t see the reality of Christ’s church beyond their own congregation or the congregational model itself. They would perhaps do better to take an honest look why people who were committed members of their congregation found it necessary to leave. Badgering them with accusations and demands will never fulfill the work of the kingdom. Maybe it is time for them to ask just how much their gatherings reflect God’s nature and reality. Those congregations who honestly seek to help people live in the reality of Jesus’ freedom and transformation need not be threatened that Jesus is also working outside their borders.

In fact if they put his kingdom first, they will rejoice that he does.


Wayne Jacobsen is the author of Finding Church and host of a podcast at

This article was first published by Mark as “Stupid things Said in the Name of Jesus” the name have been changed for SEO purposes



  1. I was reminded of a “skipping church” real life encounter many years ago shortly after surrendering my life to Jesus and experiencing a radical conversion.

    We received a call on Saturday night to pray for a sister we knew. She had been admitted some days before to William Beaumont hospital and had been diagnosed with end stage cancer. Her body was riddled with cancer cells and was told, “There’s nothing we can do!”

    The truth was, though I had been raised in this particular church, I had never before visited someone in the hospital. While we were there, my wife and I decided to anoint Sue with oil and pray for her healing. Something which I had never done before. But it just seemed the right thing to do. After about an hours visit we left and returned home.

    The next day we decided to go back in the afternoon and visit Sue once again. Upon arriving we were told that Sue had gone home (no not to heaven). Her tests having been repeated indicated that there was no evidence of cancer anywhere in her body?!!!
    PTL so she had gone home.

    The following Sunday we went back to our church. As we entered the sanctuary, we were greeted with, “We missed you last Sunday!,” It was delivered with a disapproving look.

    I joyfully shared the healing and our God encounter. My excitement was met with skepticism as she responded, “You could have gone to the hospital ‘after” the service.”

    What can I say. This is a true story – albeit it an extreme one.

    Anyway, as Bob Hope used to say, “Thanks for the memories.” And thanks for your posting. All I can say is AMEN!!!

    • There are problems with the premise of this article. It lies in his definition of the church. Church comes form the german word krche which means a place dedicated for religious purposes. However, when Jesus said upon this rock I will build my church the word was Ekklesia. Which means a group of Jesus followers. A group of people called out from the world. If you are a believer, Jesus stated you are automatically a part of this group of believers. In fact you can’t truly call yourself a follower of Jesus unless you are a part of the Church. Whether that takes the form of a group of people in their 60’s meeting in the seniors Sunday School Class or a group of young adult believers hanging out at starbucks. The premise is still the same, a group of Jesus followers called out from the world. Jesus regularly attended gatherings at the synagogue where believers congregated.

      • Sonjust to clarify, you’re saying that unless we are part of a regularly meeting (in the physical) group, we are not part of the church.

        The church is the living breathing collection of human souls that love and serve God (and accept His son Jesus as savior) in all walks of life on this planet. This is the “group”. This is the church. I am part of THE GROUP:)

        There are those of us who have been smart enough to see past the thick veil of religious lies and have forsaken the Babylonian based structured churches for a spirit walk with Jesus. He gathers us together in forms of meetings and friendship, divinely connecting us as we move through life. Maybe that sounds too unsure or scary for some. Feels like total freedom to me.

        I never attend houses of religion. However I soak up a good Holy Spirit filled revival here and there with God’s true leaders I can trust my soul with. It is only in those places I see miracles, healings and actually hear God talking.

        I love being part of the REAL CHURCH. Hoping and praying that God sets people free in this way to experience a full walk with Him.

  2. Very good points. I mostly hear the verse, “not forsaking the assembly….”. I also hear “church is a place to meet with other believers and the message taught by the pastor gives them encouragement for the week and believers need that”. For me, the biggest problem I’ve experienced, is that your God-given gifts are only “allowed” to be used when they fit within the church’s “needs” (as they see them to be)/current plans/current “programs”. If someone has a gift, shouldn’t they use it!? Not just in the world, but also to bless other believers?? (Insert parable of the talents here and also the scripture about the body where all have different abilities.) Boards, “leaders”, and pastors tell members where they can/should serve. Tell me, how biblical is that? Aren’t pastors and church leaders referenced in the Bible? So, does that mean the church and it’s hierarchy are valid since churches are mentioned (like letters to churches) in scripture? I find it all very confusing and disheartening to be part of a local building. I grew up in it never getting much out. I did have some time as an adult in a church i felt tied to in a good/positive way. When hierarchy changed, so did everything else. I no longer go. I visit some places occasionally, but I think it’s because I feel I’m “supposed” to go. I also homeschool dd and wanted her to have church friends and be around other moms and mentors. I see certain validity to a weekly service, but have serious issues with other people being “in charge” or where/how a person serves.

  3. It would be helpful to have a comma between the title and “by Wayne Jacobsen”. I found the post on Googe, and I assumed it was a post attacking 5 stupid things Wayne Jacobsen said. I checked it out expecting to find a fundamentalist blogger hating on Wayne. As I scrolled down, I thought the quoted words in the headings were supposed to be Wayne’s words, and my first thought was, he couldn’t have said THAT. Then I figured out he was the author and it all made sense.

  4. Wow. I’m absolutely stunned to have found another believer that can so plainly See that this is just a desperate grip religious jezebellian leaders have on people today. God’s people are destined to break free of the choke hold religious order has had on their spirits. Jesus said they (religious leaders) stand in the doorway they won’t enter in and don’t want others to either. Spiritual Leaders are NOT this way. Spiritual leaders are freedom fighters for God’s kids to be loose from every kind of bondage that holds them back from their soul maturity.

    Very well written. I agree on all points and it’s refreshing to hear it from someone else. Thank you!

  5. After 45 yrs of shepherding sheep my wife and I have left the buildings and traditions of the “church” as in location and departed the divided, denominated daughters of Babylon in favor of ministries to our neighbors and the “least of these” we meet. We were always more comfortable in a street ministry, homeless shelter or nursing home serving people than trying to keep “church” goers from squabbles, sin and doctrine issues. Many of the churches we served were struggling with issues they caused internally. Racial bias, money, power, and control were consuming issues we fought within every city. We now reject all traditions, relics, rituals, and doctrine of man. Love the articles here.

  6. While I agree with the premise in so far as it relates to the problems of the institutional church, I do, however, disagree with the way in which it ignores the clear examples of scripture as it respects the gathering of God’s people under an order and a biblical structure. In other words, I do not believe the NT teaches such a levity about gathering with God’s people, hearing God’s word, and being in submission to elders. I certainly do not perceive this to be biblically worked out among many institutional/denominational “churches” in our present day, but regardless of this, there are no examples in scripture of isolated, fragmented, and independent Christians. It was presumed that brethren would gather locally with other believers; it was further presumed that as brethren gathered, an order would come about for the welfare of God’s people; thus, even the ubiquitous use of technology is not a substitute for the local gathering of believers and the expectation that an order as described in the latter portion of I Corinthians 12, should be brought to fruition by the Spirit of God, for it is He who places the members in the body. Therefore, the denigration of the “service” as described above, I do not believe to be biblical. I understand that many “services” are fraught with lifeless liturgies learned through rote, but it is equally dangerous to represent that “services” or more formal gatherings are per se unbiblical and unnecessary for the believer. Although I have poignant dissatisfaction with what the “church” has become in the present day in this country, I think to characterize our freedom in Christ as a freedom to withhold ourselves from gathering as God’s people under an order, as though it was an unimportant and cumbersome thing, is fallacious. Both the OT and the NT demonstrate that, to gather in order that His word is proclaimed, His praises are raised, and His testimony is maintained in the earth, is pleasing to the Lord and pursuant to His pattern.

    • Dustin my brother you are way off on so many counts that I would have to write a book just to explain how off your statements are. With love I tell you keep yourself teachable and we can discuss these things again in 5 years. I am sorry for all your “seminary” training. When was the last time you heard HIS voice directly to you —- no bible and no man?
      Much love

  7. Any person who handles “the word of truth correctly” knows church , in the context of Scripture, is the gathering of believers for worship, discipleship and fellowship. There is the church of Jesus Christ (global) and the local church. Hebrews 10:25 is directed to local churches, which every believer needs and should be plugged into. Duh!